


Unmatched

by keptinofmysoul (kanathema)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 18:51:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4931218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanathema/pseuds/keptinofmysoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Only the lucky ones get soulmates. </p>
<p>or:</p>
<p>The one universe where they aren't meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unmatched

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first dive into fanfic and it's unbeta'd fluff so any mistakes are my own.

It began on the Valentine's day of their freshmen year.

The dorm was once again covered in hearts and endless steamers of red and pink. Outside each doorway, paper cutouts of baby cupids holding tiny bows hung, nevermind that real cupids looked nothing like infants.

It was a national holiday, and for college students it evolved into a day of romance. February 14th, the anniversary of the day the first cupid had tied two souls together for life and beyond. Since then, lucky children were bestowed a name on their inner wrist, signaling a match blessed by heaven. The less lucky did things the old fashioned way-- by stumbling through life and hoping for the best.

Castiel hated it all. Of course, like every child who grew up on stories of soulmates for years, for years he checked his inner wrists hoping for the neat script of an angel. Years became over a decade, and disappointment eventually faded to resignation. His soul was destined to the afterlife alone, like more than half of the population. It wasn't a death sentence, no matter how some felt about it. Relationships still worked, but it lacked the promise soulmates had. “Till death do us part” was reality for the unmatched. The matched could live and love freely with the reckless abandon of certainty. They were promised forever, that their souls would remain entwined even in heaven.

Castiel had accepted his bare wrist with little regret by the end of his highschool years. The lack of a match had never been a problem. Until now.

His roommate had claimed the bottom bunk by the time Castiel entered their dorm for the first time, worn leather jacket thrown haphazardly over the back of the chair he sat in. A complaint on the tip of his tongue, the boy faced him and every cliche about the time screeching to a halt came true. Castiel met green eyes and understood why they called it falling. Dean Winchester introduced himself; Castiel took the top bunk with a smile.

And since that late August day, Castiel became Cas, Dean became "Dean and Cas."

Cas learned the track list of Zeppelin IV. He learned that "I know" meant "I love you too" but only when following "I love you." He watched the Star Wars movies and understood why. He learned Sam is a genius and met his match Jess in “fancy lawyer school.” They watch loud, terrible, cheesy action flicks. Sometimes, on quiet nights, Dean gave snippets of John Winchester, and Cas learned about good intentions and matches gone wrong. Cas learned Dean’s soul is courageous and humble, kind and strong. Cas, in contrast, is too attached to centuries old stories. He became Dean’s best friend anyway.

He learned that on the inner skin of Dean’s left wrist, the name “Lisa” is written in careful script.

“Are you trying to find her?” Cas asked one night, unable to bear not knowing. They had long since decided to move the top bunk to the ground to ease conversation. The space between them now is miniscule, insignificant. It reminded Cas of a chasm.

Dean curved his arms to pillow his head, eyes glued the ceiling. “Not really,” he answered. Cas is unable to keep his gaze from him for long, and stares at his profile. (“Cas, this staring thing you do weirds people out.” “I’m sorry.” “I’m not saying me, nerd, but other people!”) The silence stretched between them, Cas’s reply suffocated by a mountain of unsaid words.

“If she wants to meet me, she’ll find her way over here sometime anyway.” Dean continued, thankfully unfazed by the lack of response.

“I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t want to meet you, Dean.”

Dean smiled at that, like early morning light. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I’m just not that excited the meet her.” Cas smiled faintly. Dean is already lost to him, but he can hold on a little longer. It makes the inevitable a bit easier to accept.

Today, he learned that Dean hates Valentine’s day almost as much as he does.

It’s a surprise to Cas. Dean is physically beautiful, and on this day of essentially rampant speed dating, Dean would be adored.

“It’s this thing,” Dean jabbed at his wrist, “Cas, no one would want me for more than a casual fuck because according to this thing,”--another jab--“some girl I don’t even know owns me.” And somehow, Cas’s heart plummeted even more. No one was more deserving of love than Dean, and for the first time, Cas wished Lisa would just show up already.

Dean is overcharged, almost manic with irritated energy, and Cas pulled him out for a walk around campus if only to spare their carpet from his pacing.

“Cas, do you see this pink? Why is everything pink?” Dean gestured wildly at the festive decor.

“I don’t know Dean, it wasn’t my idea.” They exited the building to the carefully manicured lawns of the campus, dusted lightly in snow and fall into comfortable silence, admiring the peace of the campus. Most students had gone out to celebrate; bars always became lax about carding on this day in the name of “love.” It was a rare moment of serenity in the hectic life of a student.

Of course, it couldn’t last.

A stunning dark haired girl in the distance pivoted towards them, and froze.

“Dean?” she said, voice gentle but clear in the air. Dean glanced at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cas shrugged in response.

“Hi,” Dean raised his hand in greeting. The girl walked over to them, boots crunching in the snow. She pulled up the sleeve of her jacket to reveal “Dean,” written in the same careful cursive that adorned Dean’s wrist. The exact name that Castiel had hopelessly wished to appear, every night.

She extended her hand, “Lisa,” she said, smiling shyly. Dean’s eyes widened, and he lightly grasped her hand in return. She was beautiful: shiny dark hair, warm eyes and a kind smile. She was exactly the type of girl that Dean could love, and that could love Dean.

Cas really needed to leave. “Dean, I’ll see you later. Have fun,” he nodded at Lisa stiffly in acknowledgement, and began walking aimlessly away from the new couple.

“Cas, wait!” Dean called after him, “You don’t have to leave you know.” Dean’s voice grew smaller with the growing distance. He had to leave, and Dean could never understand why. Cas could do this with grace. Let Dean get to know the girl he’d be spending eternity with alone, let him fall in love without his best friend exposing his inappropriate crush and making things awkward between them. He’d lay across from him tonight, and listen to Dean describe Lisa, the person for which heaven itself had descended she was so meant for Dean.

A safe distance away, Castiel turned to see Dean walking hand in hand with her in the direction of the campus coffeehouse. Cas walked in the direction of the nearest liquor store.

\---

He woke up at the sound of the door clicking closed.

“Jesus, Cas what the hell happened to you?” Dean leaned over his bed where he lay, listlessly staring at the ceiling. His green eyes were narrowed in concern, and Cas was not ready. Not ready to hear about Lisa, not ready to see Dean’s first dopey smile. Not ready to lose Dean, and in his drunken haze he wanted to confess everything if only to convince him to stay even out of a misplaced sense of pity.

Instead, he said “I found a liquor store, and I drank it” and mentally congratulated himself for an acceptable not heartbroken reply.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” And Dean is still sunlight, kindness and concern edging into worry and oh god, Cas is ruining it for him already. Dean should be happy and blissfully infatuated with his beautiful match not here trying to care for a drunk self-pitying mess.

“How did it go with Lisa?” he asked, instead. Dean sat on the bed across from Cas, and began twisting his ring.

Dean looked down at his own palms, “Um, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” he said, still not facing Cas. And it’s going exactly how Cas imagined, Dean was moving out, Dean has never met anyone like Lisa, Dean loves Lisa.

“Dean, I hope she makes you--”

“Go out with me.” The rest of his words freeze in his throat, and Cas jolted up to stare at Dean. Even in the dim light, his flush is visible and Castiel stared on as his world seemed to tilt.

“What?” Cas scrambled for words. _Yes, anything you want_. But he just watched Dean, still turned away, his voice tightening with each word.

“--and I know we’re not matched but we don’t have to be right? People make it work without angels all the time I mean my dad and mom were matched and look how that ended and--” The words poured from Dean and flew over his head, never sinking in. Dean paused momentarily, “Unless you just don’t feel that way about me, then just forget this happened. Actually forget this ever happened, fuck this is so bad I really hope you’re as drunk as you loo--.”

“Dean.” Cas cut him off, and Dean finally met his eyes. “What about Lisa?”

Dean smiled fondly and pushed his hair back, “She’s actually the one who told me to do this.”

“Dean, I don’t understand.”

“She has a son, four years old right now, doesn’t know who the father is. She just wanted to see if we’d work out for his sake.” Dean’s ears get progressively redder as he goes on, “But I guess I’m just too obvious. She wished me good luck and told me to visit if I ever have the chance.“

And Cas froze, because that is exactly the type of person he’d imagined Dean’s soulmate to be. Kind and endlessly generous, the type who wouldn’t binge drink in self-pity and jealousy.

“Cas, I was never hers to give away, so whatever you’re thinking, stop it now.” And for the first time in their conversation, Dean is turning away from him and it finally set Cas into motion. He reaches, and _pulls_. Dean’s eyes widen in surprise as he stumbles and soon enough, they’re curled together on a single dorm bunk. The chasm closed, and Cas feels the air swoosh past him as he falls and falls.

“We’re going to try this?” Cas whispered, hand grasping Dean’s shoulder.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to ask you all night,” Dean said, relief flooding his voice.

A silence settled in, warmed by unsaid words finally set free. An eternity passed in between heartbeats.

“Dean?” Cas said.

“Yeah?”

“What about heaven?” And Cas’s heartrate spikes. He _did not_ just mention eternity when they’re on the precipice of this new “thing.” Maybe one lifetime would be enough for Dean? He had the afterlife with Lisa and maybe that’s why they’re not concerned? Hell, who says he even gets a lifetime with Dean? Oh God, they haven’t even dated yet, who the hell mentions the afterlife before they’re even committed to each--

“We’ll tear it down. This system sucks anyway.” Dean grumbled and throws an arm around his waist. “Go to sleep Cas.”

Oh. Okay then. “Goodnight, Dean.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is really appreciated in any form! This is my first published fanwork so I'm very open to critique. Thank you :).
> 
> find me here: keptinofmysoul.tumblr.com


End file.
